It's Friday....

This post is not glamorous or funny or cute, it's completely, entirely for me to put my thoughts on paper so I can move forward.  I also want my family to understand where I'm coming from and what my feelings are at this time in our hectic lives. I want them to understand how much I truly love them.

As I am sitting here at work, an indescribable panic comes over me. Nothing is wrong that I know of, I just feel I'm not doing enough to teach and prepare my children for this crazy world we live in nor do I feel that I ever get to spend real quality time with my family.  I don't feel like there is ever enough time to say all the things I want to say to them and I'm sure they don't want to hear my mushiness. Right now, Tyler and Kanon are both struggling in one subject each and I so want to fix it for them. I have just emailed teachers to hopefully open up the lines of communication.  As my children get older, it's harder to be involved with school and the teachers rely on the children to communicate to parents any problems or concerns.  Thank goodness for powerschool! Also,  Kanon didn't pitch as well last night as he could have and I want to fix it for him.  That's my problem, I want to fix the problems of those I love.  But, it's not always my place to fix it.  Sometimes they need to take responsibility.  That what I tell myself, but then I feel inadequate as a parent because I haven't instilled in them that drive to take that responsibility.   Last Sunday, I had a mom meltdown and I am determined to try and keep from doing that again.  Sometimes, its the only way to get their attention.  They have to see me upset to realize I am not this "mom robot" here to serve them, but I am also someone with feelings.  Let me end this part with ...."This post is completely and utterly confusing and disorganized"..Hang in there with me.

I also feel distant from Church.  With all the extra curricular things our family is involved in, we have put going to church every Sunday on pause.  It's so easy to say..."that's our only day to rest".  My desire and plan is to change that way of thinking for our family, or at least for myself.  I have to confess....I received an email from our youth leader at Church this week asking if I could teach Sr High on Sunday and I said yes.  I didn't say yes because I really wanted to, I said yes because I knew making that commitment would make me get the children out the door for Church on Sunday.  Yes....I am ashamed of that!  I want to be that "perfect" Godly wife, mother and friend but I am imperfect and need God's guidance on a minute by minute basis.  I have so many things to be thankful for and I am blessed beyond my wildest dreams, but I so desire a deeper closeness with my savior.  Now that I have a full-time business, there were things I needed to cut out of my busy schedule.  One of the things I told myself I didn't have time for was my weekly bible study.  Yep... you guessed it...I cut out the wrong thing.  I knew that then and I know that now.

I feel like we are off track.  even though things are going good, I still feel uneasy and off track.  Help me Lord, get back on track.  Help me to make worshiping you a priority in my life.  I need to be a better role model for my children in my walk with you.  You see, last Sunday when I was busy having my meltdown...we should have been at Church.  We were not! We were not there because Don was out of town and I chose for us to stay home and rest.  A minister was on television at the very same time saying the words" if we do not make worshiping God a priority in our house our children will learn not to make him a priority".  I felt about 2 inches tall and it's been weighing heavily on me this week.  But as usual our schedule has been busy and our evenings full of homework, chores, planning ahead, laundry, practices, pick up/drop off that I haven't even had time to share last Sundays experience with my husband. I want to get past all of the superficial junk and get to have real conversations with my family and get to share real quality time with them. But first I need to make my time with God a priority not just a 5 minute prayer as I end my day or before meals.

God never lets us down and I constantly let him down.  I want to get to that place of peace with him and with my family.  With four children, something is always going on and I pray for strength and wisdom. Help me be that Godly woman my husband and children can be proud of. I want to be that mother that my children love unconditionally as adults. 

Our Weekend Getaway...

There is nothing better than a weekend getaway with your family.  I had the time of my life just being able to have my sweet family all to myself with no activities or distractions.  A few weeks ago, we decided to head to Gatlinburg for the Presidents Day Holiday "weekend".  We stayed at the Music Road Hotel, ate great food and had a blast doing all those "tourist sightseeing things".  Don and I realized that growing up we always went to Gatlinburg, but as parents we had never taken our children...so off we went.  I don't have to have a 10,000 vacation to have fun, just give me my wonderful family, clear our schedules and I'm happy.  Although, I must add that BIG vacation is coming.  We are all headed to Hawaii in May of next year.  This is something I actually have won with my company and its perfect timing allows for the family to go and serve as Tyler's senior trip.  But for now....back to reality and Gatlinburg.  It was cold and rainy, but that didn't stop us from doing everything we wanted to do.

Grayson and Parker enjoyed swimming even if it was 11:30 at night.  The water was cold and the enclosure was a million degrees, but they didn't care.  The big kids along with dad were ready to turn in for the night so they skipped this.

The mini replica of Herbie was great.  And as you can see below......she just could not make up her mind.

There was so much candy to choose from...so instead I think she just got one of everything.  I cringed when they weighed her bag.  But, her smiles were worth it.  Parker on the other hand knew just what he wanted.  Popcorn flavored jelly beans....yuck!  We probably should make an appointment with the dentist after all the candy.

The rest of the trip included Ober Gatlinburg, riding go carts, visiting Ripley's Believe it or not Museum, Haunted Mansion and earthquake the ride.  Don and the little ones are actually the ones who attended the Ripley's Haunted mansion while me, Kanon and Tyler shopped for souvenirs.  I think that was actually backwards....the little ones love getting scared!  When given the choice I will always sit out those kind of events. I have never enjoyed haunted things, not even as a teenager.

We ate lunch at Johnny Rockets to get dry and then made sure we hadn't missed anything.  If we did miss anything, it will have to wait until next time.

Thank you family for a great weekend!!! I love You.

Spring is just around the corner

It's spring time at least at our house and that means, baseball, baseball and more baseball.  No, really its alot of fun, but we do spend lots of time at the ballfields. Yesterday, Kanon was invited to travel with the high school JV team for a double header at Parkview and Brookwood, so we spent all day watching baseball.  We were able to squeeze in dinner with KL, Martha, Kennon and Reese since we were in Atlanta which was so much fun.  We always find the coolest places to eat with them, and last night was no different.  We ate dinner at an upscale restaurant called Three Blind Mice.  I'm thinking we were a little under dressed and our children seemed to be the only other children there, but we still had a great time.  Today, Kanon is in Cherokee County observing a summer league that he might be interested in so he can play this summer and continue to improve and get stronger.  I figured I should make an attempt to at least start updating the blog while they were gone today and before my CSL meeting tonight.

Lots of exciting changes have taken place in our world in the last few weeks, mostly surrounding my business.  The business has moved to a wonderful new location and our online shopping website has been launched.  We are looking forward to the new business that the website change will bring in.  I don't think I have posted pictures from the CSL fundraiser "Cocktails for a Cause" so I promise to do that very soon. 

Spring is probably our busiest time of the year, but also the most fun.  CSL Social and Spring Coffee are coming up for me, Don is busy with spring sports at work, Grayson is gearing up for tennis...she's just waiting on me. Kanon will continue with high school baseball, Tyler starts his job of scorekeeper for Cartersville Little League again.  Parker, not playing little league this year seems a little different, but I think he's enjoying the break.  Parker just finished the statewide 5th Grade writing test and is looking forward to touring the middle school in a few weeks.  Time is just flying by.  I love my sweet babies and love helping them pursue their interests and activities.  My two high schoolers would probably cringe right about now reading that last sentence.  Of course...they are NOT babies! 

Now....I am off to the grocery store.  Maybe when I get back, I can update some more with pictures.  Lots of pictures to post.  Blessings for now.....