Spring Break

We are still here... Our lives feel like they are moving so fast everything is almost a blur. Each day I tell myself I am going to do things differently, I am going to relish and celebrate everything my family is involved with. But... Then sadness hits and I feel like I have to pick up pieces and start over again. I wonder, is it the sadness from losing my parents and having no extended family that is hard to move past or is it the guilt that I feel from caring for my mother and my fathers sickness. I often ask myself.. What could I have done differently? Do they know how much I loved them? Why didn't I spend more time talking to them and sharing my feelings? These and more questions haunt me on a daily basis. My children's grandparents were gone to soon. I am sad they will never see The kids graduate from college, they will never see them get married or have children of their own someday. I grieve for those losses. After much thought and prayer, I realize I have to look to the future without letting my past drive me. My past is just that... The past! I pray that I did enough for them, I pray that I was enough. I pray I will hold onto the good memories of my parents while creating new memories with the amazing husband and children God so graciously blessed me with. It's time to create the life I have always dreamed about instead of sitting by and watching those around me. 

Spring break was wonderful and I can't wait for a summer vacation with my family. Instead of looking at some things we need to take care of as chores, it's time for me to look at them as opportunities. We have a condo and a camper to sell. I have an online course to finish and pass. I have a job that I need to do, but more importantly I have a family who needs me and they need all of me. It's time for me to stop being scared of what people think of me. The only one that I should be working to please is God. So.... As I hold myself accountable, I truly believe my parents would want me to go forward. They provided me with a foundation of love. I  am so blessed!!!! Here are some spring break pictures to remember....the wind, the sunburn and the all you can eat seafood with the postage stamp picture, playing mini golf and the souvenirs shops with false advertising that made us laugh. Just getting away from it all is always priceless. And oh yeah...Parker and the Macarena.